Список текстов песен weird al yankovic

Текст песни:

[Intro: Weird Al Yankovic]
Hey girl, you know our economy′s in the toilet
But I′m still gonna treat you right
I said you can have whatever you like (if you like)
I said you can have whatever you like (if you like)
Yeah, yeah

[Chorus One]
Tater tots, Cold Duck on ice
And we can clip coupons all night
And baby you can have whatever you like (if you like)
I said you can have whatever you like (if you like)
Yeah, yeah
Take you out for dinner, anywhere that you please
Like Burger King or Mickey D′s
And baby you can have whatever you like (if you like)
I said you can even have the large fries (large fries)
Yeah, yeah

[Verse One]
Baby you should know I am really quite a sweet guy
When I buy you bathroom tissue I always get the two-ply
Want it, you can get it, my dear
I got my Costco membership card right here
Yeah you like Top Ramen, need Top Ramen
Got a cupboard full of ′em, I′ll keep ′em comin
You want it, I got it, go get it, just heat it
Dump the flavor packet on it and eat it

[Chorus Two]
Pork and beans and Minute Rice
And we can play Cribbage all night
And baby you can have whatever you like (if you like)
I said you can have whatever you like (if you like)
Yeah, yeah
I can take you to the laundromat downtown
And watch all the clothes go ′round and ′round
And baby we can go wherever you like (if you like)
I said we can go wherever you like (if you like)
Yeah, yeah

[Verse Two]
Hottest shorty I know, if you had some lipo′
You could be second-runner-up Miss Ohio
Seven dollar bills rolled up inside my plastic billfold
Buy you a bagel even if it isn′t day old
And you never ever gotta wear your sister′s old clothes
As long as I′m still assistant manager at Kinko′s
Cut your hair with scissors and a soup bowl
You ain′t got to pay me, that′s the way that I roll
My chick can have want she wants
At Wal*Mart she can pick out anything she want
I know girl you ain′t never had a man like that
Who doesn′t make you buy generic brand like that
Yeah you like my Hyundai, see my Hyundai
I can take you to see your cousin Phil next Sunday
But that′s kind of far and I′m not made of cash
Do you think you could chip in for gas?

[Chorus Three]
Mac and cheese would be all right
But let′s send out for pizza tonight
And you can order any toppings you like (if you like)
I said you can even have the last slice (last slice)
Yeah, yeah
Ran myself a cable from my neighbor next do′
Now I can get free HBO
And baby you can watch whatever you like (if you like)
I said you can watch whatever you like (if you like)
Yeah, yeah

[Verse Four]
And you can always ride the city bus
Got a stack of tokens just for us
Yo my wallet′s fat, and full of ones
It′s all about the Washingtons, that′s right
You want White Castle, need White Castle
Long as you got me it won′t be no hassle
You want it, we′ll get it, just don′t be a hater
If I grab a bunch of napkins for later

[Chorus Four]
Thrift store jeans on sale half-price
The underwear at Goodwill is nice
And baby you can have whatever you like (if you like)
I said you can have whatever you like (if you like)
Yeah, yeah
Baby, I can give you anything you please
Even share my government cheese
And baby you can have as much as you like (if you like)
I said you can have as much as you like (if you like)
Yeah, yeah

@ Weird Al Yankovic

Текст песни:

Potato skins, potato cakes
Hash browns and instant flakes
Baked or boiled or french fried
There′s no kind you haven′t tried
You planned a trip to Idaho
Just to watch potatoes grow
I understand how you must feel
I can′t deny they′ve got a peel

Wo, you like ′em whether they′re plain or they′re stuffed, oh yeah
Better face the facts, it seems you can′t get enough
You know, you′re gonna have to face it, you′re addicted to spuds

Your greasy hands, your salty lips
Looks like you found the chips
Your belly aches, your teeth grind
Some tater tots would blow your mind
And you don′t mind if they′re not cooked
You need your fix, I guess you′re hooked
And late at night you always dream
Of bacon bits and sour cream

Wo, you like ′em even if they′re lumpy or tough, oh yeah
It′s pretty obvious to me you can′t get enough
You know you′re gonna have to face it, you′re addicted to spuds

Might as well face it, you′re addicted to spuds
Might as well face it, you′re addicted to spuds
Might as well face it, you′re addicted to spuds
Might as well face it, you′re addicted to spuds
Might as well face it, you′re addicted to spuds

I′m giving up, it′s just no use
Another case of spud abuse
What can I say, what can I do
Potato bug has got me, too

Wo, I used to hate ′em, now they′re all that I eat, oh yeah
I′ve often seen ′em whipped, but they just can′t be beat
Now I′m gonna have to face it, I′m addicted to spuds

@ Weird Al Yankovic

Текст песни:

A long long time ago
In a galaxy far away
Naboo was under an attack

And I thought me and Qui Gon Jin
Could talk the federation into maybe cutting them a little Slack
But their response, it didn′t thrill us
They locked the doors and tried to kill us
We escaped from that gas
And met Jar Jar in Bosnas
We took a bongo from the scene
And went to Theed to see the Queen
We all wound up on Tatooine
That′s where we found this boy

Oh my, my this here Annakin guy
Maybe Vader someday later
Now he′s just a small fry
And he left his home and kissed his mummy goodbye
Saying Soon, I′m gonna be a Jedi
Soon I′m gonna be a Jedi.

Did you know this junkyard slave
Isn′t even old enough to shave?
But he can use the force they say
Ah, do you see him hitting on the Queen?
Though he′s just nine
And she′s fourteen
Yeah, he′s probably going to marry her some day

Well I know he built C3PO
And I′ve heard how fast his pod can go
And we were broke, it′s true
So we made a wager or two

He was a pre-pubescent flying ace
And the minute Jabba started off that race
Well, I knew who would win first place
Oh yes, it was our boy

We started singing:

My, my this here Annakin guy
Maybe Vader someday later
Now he′s just a small fry
And he left his home and kissed his mummy goodbye
Saying Soon, I′m gonna be a Jedi
Soon I′m gonna be a Jedi.

Now we finally got to Coruscant
The Jedi council we knew would want
To see how good the boy could be
So we took him there and we told the tale
How his midichloreans readings were off the scale
And he might fulfill that prophesy

Oh the council was impressed of course
′Could he bring balance to the force?
They interviewed the kid
Oh training they forbid

Because Yoda sensed in him much fear
And Quigon said Now listen here
Just stick it in your pointy ear
I still will teach this boy

He was singing:

My, my this here Annakin guy
Maybe Vader someday later
Now he′s just a small fry
And he left his home and kissed his mummy goodbye
Saying Soon, I′m gonna be a Jedi
Soon I′m gonna be a Jedi.

We caught a ride back to Naboo
′Cause Queen Amadala wanted to
I frankly would have liked to stay
We all fought in that epic war
And it wasn′t long at all before
Little hotshot flew his plane
And saved the day

And in the end some gunguns died
Some ships blew up
And some pilots fried
A lot of folks were croakin′
The battle droids were broken
And the Jedi I admire most
Met up with Darth Maul
And now he′s toast
I′m still here and he′s a ghost
I guess I′ll train this boy

And I was singin′:

My, my this here Annakin guy
Maybe Vader someday later
Now he′s just a small fry
And he left his home and kissed his mummy goodbye
Saying Soon, I′m gonna be a Jedi
Soon I′m gonna be a Jedi.

We were singing:

My, my this here Annakin guy
Maybe Vader someday later
Now he′s just a small fry
And he left his home and kissed his mummy goodbye
Saying Soon, I′m gonna be a Jedi
Soon I′m gonna be a Jedi.

@ Weird Al Yankovic

Текст песни:

Here she come now, wants her alimony.
Bleedin′ me dry as a bony bony.
Work at three jobs just to stay in debt now.
Well first she took my nest egg, then she took the nest.
I said yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

′Cause she took my house...my car,
My shoes...and my toothbrush too.
Too bad...so sad.
A-she got...got the gift of grab.
I′m in debt, debt, debt, debt, debt, debt.

Lawyer′s callin′ me on the telephony.
Tryin′-a squeeze-a blood from a stony stony.
Ooh, I took her for better or for worse, yeah.
Then she took me for everything, yeah everything
She could get, get, get, get, get.

Well I′m out of cash...no dough.
I′m broke...it′s no joke.
The check′s in the mail...get off
My back...cut me some slack.
I said yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

(Ooh, I want my almo-mo-mony) Oh you do?
(Ooh, I want my almo-mo-mony) Is it due?
(Ooh, I want my almo-mo-mony) Or you′ll sue?
(Ooh, I want my almo-mo-mony)
Alimony, mony, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

@ Weird Al Yankovic

Текст песни:

We are, on fire, we have, desires, but one, is that way, one backstreet boy is

Gay.

And we dont want to be mean, since now hes a queen, dont ask please, "which

Backstreet boy is gay? "

Tell me who? aint sayin that its aj

Tell me who? aint sayin that its howie

Tell me who? I never wanna hear you say: "which backstreet boy is gay? "

Now I can see him, hes in womens clothes, but he dont need an iud, yeah,

He likes village people, hes playin croquet, his dog is a pekinese.

He is on fire, his back, prespires,

Wont say, wont say, wont say, whos gay!

Hes always sayin: aint nuthin but a butt-ache, aint nuthin but a friutcake,

Hes pickin up a souffl which backstreetboy is gay?

Ok, were all gay.

@ Weird Al Yankovic

Текст песни:

Soy un perdidor
I′m a loser, baby
So why don′t you kill me?
Soy un perdidor
I′m a loser, baby
So why don′t you kill me?
Hey!

I am I am I am
I said I wanna get next to you
I said I′m gonna get close to you
You wouldn′t want me have to hurt you, too
Hurt you, too
I know what′s on my mind
I know you like what′s on my mind
I know it eats you up inside
I know you know, you know
Here I come I come I come I come
Here I come I come I come

All I wanna do is have some fun
I gotta feeling I′m not the only one
All I wanna do is have some fun
I gotta feeling I′m not the only one
All I wanna do is have some fun
Until the sun comes up over Santa Monica Boulevard

Help me--I broke apart my insides
Help me--I′ve got no soul to sell
Help me--The only thing that works for me
Help me get away from myself
I wanna [doink] you like an animal
I wanna feel you from the inside
I wanna [clong] you like an animal
My whole existence is flawed
You get me closer to God

Hey!
Hey!
Hey!

You bang bang bang bang bang
Blame blame blame
You bang bang bang bang bang
It′s not my thing so let it go

′Cause the love that you gave
That we made
Wasn′t able to make it
Enough for you to be open wide
No
And every time you speak her name
Does she know how you told me
You′d hold me until you died?
′Til you died
Well, you′re still alive
And I′m here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It′s not fair to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You-ou-ou-ou-ou oughta know

Hey!

Despite all my rage
I am still just a rat in a cage
Despite all my rage
I am still just a rat in a cage
And someone will say
What is lost can never be saved
Despite all my rage
I am still just a rat in a cage

I love all of you
Hurt by the cold
So hard and lonely, too
When you don′t know yourself

I don′t owe you anything!
I don′t owe you anything!
I don′t owe you anything!
I don′t owe you anything!

Black Hole Sun
Won′t you come
And wash away the rain?
Black Hole Sun
Won′t you come, won′t you come
Black Hole Sun
Black Hole Sun
Won′t you come
Black Hole Sun
Black Hole Sun
Won′t you come
Black Hole Sun
Black Hole Sun

Do you have the time
To listen to me whine
About nothing and everything all at once?
I am one those melodramatic fools
Neurotic to the bone
No doubt about it
Sometimes I give myself the creeps
Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me
It all keeps adding up
I think I′m cracking up
And am I just paranoid
Or am I just stoned?
Or am I just stoned-oh-oh-oh-oh-ned?

@ Weird Al Yankovic

Текст песни:

They see me mowin′
My front lawn
I know they′re all thinking
I′m so White N′ nerdy

Think I′m just too white n′ nerdy
Think I′m just too white n′ nerdy
Can′t you see I′m white n′ nerdy
Look at me I′m white n′ nerdy!
I wanna roll with-
The gangsters
But so far they all think
I′m too white n′ nerdy
Think I′m just too white n′ nerdy
Think I′m just too white n′ nerdy
I′m just too white n′ nerdy
Really, really white n′ nerdy

First in my class here at M.I.T.
Got skills, I′m a Champion of DND
MC Escher that′s my favorite MC
Keep your 40
I′ll just have an Earl Grey tea
My rims never spin to the contrary
You′ll find they′re quite stationary
All of my action figures are cherry
Steven Hawkings in my library
My MySpace page is all totally pimped out
I got people begging for my top 8 spaces
Yo I know Pi to a thousand places
Ain′t got no grills but I still wear braces
I order all of my sandwiches with mayonnaise
I′m a whiz at minesweeper I can play for days
Once you see my sweet moves you′re gonna stay amazed,
my fingers movin′ so fast I′ll set the place ablaze
There′s no killer rap I haven′t run
At Pascal well I′m number 1
Do vector calculus just for fun
I ain′t got a gat but I gotta soldering gun
Happy days is my favourite theme song
I can sure kick your butt in a game of ping pong
I′ll ace any trivia quiz you bring on
I′m fluent in Java Script as well as Klingon

They see me roll on, my Segway!
I know in my heart they think I′m
white n′ nerdy!
Think I′m just too white n′ nerdy
Think I′m just too white n′ nerdy
Can′t you see I′m white n′ nerdy
Look at me I′m white n′ nerdy
I′d like to roll with-
The gangsters
Although it′s apparent I′m too
White n′ nerdy
Think I′m just too white n′ nerdy
I′m just too white n′ nerdy
How′d I get so white n′ nerdy?

I′ve been browsing, inspectin′
X-men comics you know I collect ′em
The pens in my pocket
I must protect ′em
my ergonomic keyboard never leaves me bored
Shopping online for deals on some writable media
I edit Wikipedia
I memorized Holy Grail really well
I can recite it right now and have you ROTFLOL
I got a business doing websites
When my friends need some code who do they call?
I do HTML do for them all
Even made a homepage for my dog!
Yo! Got myself a fanny pack
they were having a sale down at the GAP
Spend my nights with a roll of bubble wrap
POP POP! Hope no one sees me gettin′ freaky!

I′m nerdy in the extreme and whiter than sour creme
I was in AV club and Glee club and even the chess team!
Only question I ever thought was hard
Was do I like Kirk or do I like Piccard?
I spend every weekend
at the renaissance fair
I got my name on my under wear!

They see me strollin′
They laughin′
And rollin′ their eyes ′cause
I′m so white n′ nerdy
Just because I′m white n′ nerdy
Just because I′m white n′ nerdy
All because I′m white n′ nerdy
Holy cow I′m white n′ nerdy
I wanna bowl with-
the gangsters
but oh well it′s obvious I′m
white n′ nerdy
Think I′m just too white n′ nerdy
Think I′m just too white n′ nerdy
I′m just too white n′ nerdy
Look at me I′m white n′ nerdy!

@ Weird Al Yankovic

Текст песни:

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she′s very plain
But that′s just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity
At 4:30 in the morning I′m milkin′ cows
Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows... fool
And I′ve been milkin′ and plowin′ so long that
Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone
I′m a man of the land, I′m into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores and you finish thine
Then tonight we′re gonna party like it′s 1699
We been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish paradise
I′ve churned butter once or twice
Living in an Amish paradise
It′s hard work and sacrifice
Living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at a discount price
Living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek
I really don′t care, in fact I wish him well
′Cause I′ll be laughing my head off when he′s burning in Hell
But I ain′t never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a ′tude?
You know that′s unheard of
I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree
I really look good in black... fool
If you come to visit, you′ll be bored to tears
We haven′t even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain′t really quaint, so please don′t point and stare
We′re just technologically impaired

There′s no phone, no lights, no motorcar
Not a single luxury
Like Robinson Caruso
It′s as primitive as can be

We been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish Paradise
We′re just plain and simple guys
Living in an Amish Paradise
There′s no time for sin and vice
Living in an Amish Paradise
We don′t fight, we all play nice
Living in an Amish Paradise

Hitchin′ up the buggy, churnin′ lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I′ll raise anutter
Think you′re really righteous?
Think you′re pure in heart?
Well, I know I′m a million time as humble as thou art
I′m the pious guy the little Amlettes wanna be like
On my knees day and night scorin′ points for the afterlife
So don′t be vain and don′t be whiny
Or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your heinie

We been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish Paradise
We′re all crazy Mennonites
Living in an Amish Paradise
There′s no cops or traffic lights
Living in an Amish Paradise
But you′d probably think it bites
Living in an Amish Paradise

Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh
ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-yecch!

@ Weird Al Yankovic

Текст песни:

Ridin′ in a bus down the boulevard,
And the place was pretty packed.
Couldn′t find a seat, so I had to stand,
With the perverts in the back.
It was smellin′ like a locker room.
There was junk all over the floor.
We′re already packed in like sardines,
But we′re stoppin′ to pick up more.
Look out!

Another one rides the bus-ah.
Another one rides the bus-ah.
And another comes on,
And another comes on.
Another one rides the bus-ah.
Hey!
He′s gonna sit by you.
Another one rides the bus.

There′s a suitcase pokin′ me in the ribs.
There′s an elbow in my ear.
There′s a smelly old bum standin′ next to me.
Hasn′t showered in a year.
Well, I think I′m missin′ a contact lens.
I think my wallet′s gone.
And I think this bus is stoppin′ again,
To let a couple more freaks get on.
Look out!

Another one rides the bus-ah.
Another one rides the bus-ah.
And another comes on,
And another comes on.
Another one rides the bus-ah.
Hey!
He′s gonna sit by you.
Another one rides the bus.

Another one rides the bus.
Another one rides the bus--ow!
Another one rides the bus--hey, hey!
Another one rides the bus--hey-y-y-y!

The window doesn′t open, and the fan is broke,
And my face is turnin′ blue.
I haven′t been in a crowd like this
Since I went to see The Who.
Well, I should′a got off a couple miles ago,
But I couldn′t get to the door.
There isn′t any room for me to breathe.
Now we′re gonna pick up more, yeah!

Another one rides the bus-ah.
Another one rides the bus-ah.
And another comes on,
And another comes on.
Another one rides the bus-ah.
Hey!
He′s gonna sit by you.
Another one rides the bus.

@ Weird Al Yankovic

Текст песни:

Sometimes I feel
Like I need a vacation
Sometimes I feel
Like I wanna go
To the city of cavemen
The city of Bedrock
I′d be a Flintstone
Now I′ll tell you why....

Well I′ve got I′ve got a woman named Wilma
Well I′ve got I′ve got a baby named Pebbles
Well I′ve got I′ve got a doggy named Dino
We do a little bowling and we drink a little vino

Well I′ve got a little buddy, Barney Rubble
Got a neighbor by the name of Barney Rubble
He′s a midget but he makes a lot of trouble
Does′nt like to shave, he got caveman stubble

Me and Barney, Loyal Order Water Buffalo
Lodge brothers, Loyal Order Water Buffalo
There′s a handshake everybody gotta know
How come Grand Poo-Bah always gotta run the whole show?

Yabba dabba, Yabba dabba dabba do now
Yabba dabba, Yabba dabba dabba do now
Yabba dabba, Yabba dabba dabba do now
I get by on all my prehistoric knowhow

Betty and Barney got a baby named Bamm-Bamm
Little Pebbles is his number one fan
He′s the strongest toddler in the whole land
Tear your arm off if he shake-es your hand

Got a car, gonna push it with my feet now
Gonna take my family out to eat now
Jumbo ribs at the drive-in can′t be beat now
Made from brontosaurus baby, not moo-cow

Wanna chill with a sabre-toothed tiger
Wear a loincloth, natural fiber
Be the first Rolling Stone subscriber
Got a pterodactyl for a windshield wiper

Yabba dabba, Yabba dabba dabba do now
Yabba dabba, Yabba dabba dabba do now
Yabba dabba, Yabba dabba dabba do now
Don′t know what it means but I say it anyhow

Lucky me, workin′ down in the gravel pit
Movin′ rocks, on a big dinosaur I sit
Mr. Slate gets mad and he throws a fit
Pull the birdie′s tail, everybody knows its time to quit

Realize I′m livin′ in the Stone Age
No fax, no cellular phone-Age
Pick my teeth with a dinosaur bone-Age
Liftin′ heavy boulders every day for my wage

Barney Rubble, laugin′ like a hyena
Barney Rubble, what a little wiener
Where′s Wilma? Anybody seen her?
Got a baby elephant vacuum cleaner

Yabba dabba, Yabba dabba dabba do now
Yabba dabba, Yabba dabba dabba do now
Yabba dabba, Yabba dabba dabba do now
Yabba dabba, Yabba dabba dabba do now

@ Weird Al Yankovic

Текст песни:

Gonna buy me a condo.
Gonna buy me a Cuisinart.
Get de wall-to-wall carpeting.
Get de wallet full o′ credit cards.
I gonna buy me a condo.
Never have to mow the lawn.
Gonna get me the T-shirt
With the alligator on.

Wo-o-o, used to live in Jamaica,
But I don′t live dere no more.
Had to change me lifestyle,
Do t′ings I never done before.
So now I′m just a lonely Rastaman,
Living in dis American town.
Gonna sell me Bob Marley records,
Gonna get me some Jackson Browne.

Gonna buy me a condo.
Gonna buy me a Cuisinart.
Get de wall-to-wall carpeting.
Get de wallet full o′ credit cards.
I gonna buy me a condo.
Never have to mow the lawn.
Gonna get me the T-shirt
With the alligator on.

Wo, gonna cut off me dreadlocks,
T′row away all me ganja.
I′ll have a Tupperware party,
Maybe join me a health spa.
I′ll get a bowl of plastic fruit,
And a microwave oven too.
Then I′ll have the neighbors over
For a weenie barbecue.

Gonna buy me a condo.
Gonna buy me a Cuisinart.
Get de wall-to-wall carpeting.
Get de wallet full o′ credit cards.
I gonna buy me a condo.
Never have to mow the lawn.
Gonna get me the T-shirt
With the alligator on.

Ain′t gonna work in the field no more.
Gonna be Amway distributor.
Ain′t gonna work in the field no more, no, no.
Gonna be Amway distributor.
(Jah) Jah, jah, jah,
Life is so very hard,
I need a (jah) jah, jah, jah
Jacuzzi in my backyard.

Gonna buy me a condo.
Gonna buy me a Cuisinart.
Get de wall-to-wall carpeting.
Get de wallet full o′ credit cards.
I gonna buy me a condo.
Never have to mow the lawn.
Gonna get me the T-shirt
With the alligator on.

What you say?

Gonna buy me a condo.
Gonna buy me a Cuisinart.
Get de wall-to-wall carpeting.
Get de wallet full o′ credit cards.
I gonna buy me a condo.
Never have to mow the lawn.
Gonna get me the T-shirt
With the alligator on.

What you say?

Gonna buy me a condo.
Gonna buy me a Cuisinart.
Get de wall-to-wall carpeting.
Get de wallet full o′ credit cards.
I gonna buy me a condo.
Never have to mow the lawn.
Gonna get me the T-shirt
With the alligator on.

@ Weird Al Yankovic

Текст песни:

Don′t wanna be a Canadian idiot
Don′t wanna be some beer swillin′ hockey nut
And do I look like some frostbitten hose-head?
I never learned my alphabet from A to Zed

They all live on donuts and moose meat
And they leave the house without packin′ heat
Never even bring their guns to the mall
And you know what else is too funny?
Their stupid Monopoly money
Can′t take ′em seriously at all

Well maple syrup and snow′s what they export
They treat curling just like it′s a real sport
They think their silly accent is so cute
Can′t understand a thing they′re talkin′ aboot

Sure they got their national health care
Cheaper meds, low crime rates and clean air
Then again well they got Celine Dion
Eat their weight in Kraft macaroni
And dream of drivin′ a Zamboni
All over Saskatchewan

Don′t wanna be a Canadian idiot
Won′t figure out their temperature in Celsius
See the map, they′re hoverin′ right over us
Tell you the truth, it makes me kinda nervous

Always hear the same kind of story
Break their nose and they′ll just say "sorry"
Tell me what kind of freaks are that polite?
It′s gotta mean they′re all up to somethin′
So quick, before they see it comin′
Time for a pre-emptive strike!

@ Weird Al Yankovic

Текст песни:

Look, if you had, one shot
To sit on your lazy butt, and watch all the TV you ever wanted
Until your brain turned to mush, would you go for it
Or just let it slip
Yo

[Verse 1]
Remote is ready, eyes wide palms are sweaty
Theres Flintstones on the TV all ready, Wilma and Beatty
No virgin, I′m channel surfin and I′m HD ready
So I flip, garbage is all I′m getting
The Simon Cal, who folks wanna disembowel
He oppens his mouth, always say something fowl
Their dying wow, wannabes are crying now
He votes em out, time to throw in the towl
Shows based on reality, oh the humanity
Oh the these family shows, love profanity
Woh the insanity, oh dogs that crap and pee
Home of degravity, no they live happily
Yo, plust the Ali G show, and celebrity mo
Oh theres Anna Nicole, she scarin me
Look ma no cavites, oh its a station break
Better go out to the kitchen and micorwave something

[Chorus]
Your gonna lose your mind watchin TV
They told me, they scold me, but I still tune into every show (oh)
My cable gets CSPAN, TVLand, and HBO
The travel channel has gone furry and lifetime
Your gonna lose your mind watchin TV
They told me, controlled me, turn off those music videos (oh)
I′m gonna watch CSPAN TVLand and HBO
The History Channel, and QVC, and Lifetime
Your gonna...

[Verse 2]
My butt is aking, as I watch Nascar racing
That show about undertaking, Larry King
To 24 to, Law & Order
The Weather Channel′s boring like 60 Minutes
Ancient reporters, next up on E True Hollywood Story
The rise and decline of 12 actors named Cory
Shows for next fall, they already been namin
CSI: Boise, and Touched by an Uncle
Both sound pretty lamen, and so does everybody who tolerates Ramond
And King of Queens jumped the shark the first minute
I can′t believe Richard Simmons ain′t in it
I move right on to 8 Simple Rules for Dating my Teenage Daughter
Then I bet I watch the Bachelorette, followed by welcome back Cotter
And the Muppets show where they go and I′m not

[Chorus]
Your gonna lose your mind watchin TV
They told me, they scold me, but I still tune into every show (oh)
My cable gets CSPAN, TVLand, and HBO
The Disney channel and A&E and lifetime
Your gonna lose your mind watchin TV
They told me, controlled me, but I still love Lisa Cudrow (oh)
I′m lookin at CSPAN TVLand and HBO
The Playboy Channel, CourtTV, and Lifetime
Your gonna...

[Verse 3]
Never miss Melorose Place or Lost in Space
I′ve seen each Amazing Race, Without a Trace
But I only watched Will & Grace, one time, one day
Wish I Hadn′t, cause TiVo now thinks I′m gay
Oh, and Fear Factor, I watched maybe a halfhour
After that, felt like I needed a long Shower
Network Execs with naked ambition
Nextweek on fox watch lions eat Christians
Liked to tie up those programming planners
Make them watch all that junk until there heads explode just like scanners
Leech coverd, grub-eatin fools on Survivor
Look theres James Lipton discussin the ohbra of
Mr. Rob Schneider and those gilligan and Spongebob
Plus there MaGiver and Jay Leno has got Madonna
Haters Luke Perry and a special all piglatin episode of Drew Carey
Wanna turn on ET, cause I′m a gossip freak
And I gotta know who JLo is marring this week
A 30 second spot welcome back to Are You Hot
I was plannin on recording the Sopranos, I forgot
I love shows with or without a plot
I′ll stare until my legs are numb, my eyes blood shot
Because I only got, one brain to rot
I′m gonna spend my life watchin television a lot

[Chorus]
Your gonna lose your mind watchin TV
They told me, theyscold me, but I still tune into every show (oh)
My cable gets CSPAN, TVLand, and HBO
The Sifi channel and AMC and lifetime
Your gonna lose your mind watchin TV
They told me, controlled me, turn off that Oprah Winfrey show (oh)
I got it on CSPAN TVLand and HBO
The Learing Channel and MTV, and Lifetime
Your gonna...

You can watch anything you want to man

@ Weird Al Yankovic

Текст песни:

How come you′re always such a fussy young man
Don′t want no Cap′n Crunch, don′t want no Raisin Bran
Well don′t you know that other kids are starvin′ in Japan
So eat it, just eat it

Don′t want to argue, I don′t want to debate
Don′t want to hear about what kinds of foods you hate
You won′t get no dessert ′till you clean off you′re plate
So eat it

Don′t you tell me you′re full
Just eat it... eat it
Get yourself an egg and beat it

Have some more chicken
Have some more pie
It doesn′t matter
If it′s boiled or fried

Just eat it, just eat it
Just eat it, just eat it... Woo!

Your table manners are a crying shame
You′re playing with your food, this ain′t some kind of game
Now, if you starve to death
You′ll just have yourself to blame
So eat it. Just eat it.

You better listen, better do as you′re told
You haven′t even touched your tuna casserole
You better chow down, or it′s gonna get cold
So eat it.

I don′t care if you′re full
Just eat it... eat it
Open up your mouth and feed it

Have some more yogurt
Have some more Spam
It doesn′t matter if it′s fresh or canned
Just eat it! Eat it! Eat it! Eat it!
Don′t you make me repeat it!

Have a banana, have a whole bunch
It doesn′t matter what you had for lunch

Just eat it! Eat it!
Eat it! Eat it!
Eat it! Eat it!
If it′s too cold, reheat it

Have a big dinner. Have a light snack
If you don′t like it, you can′t send it back

Just eat it! Eat it!
Get yourself an egg and beat it!

Have some more chicken. Have some more pie
It doesn′t matter if it′s boiled or fried

Just eat it! Eat it!
Don′t you make me repeat it!

@ Weird Al Yankovic

Текст песни:

George, George, George of the Jungle,
Strong as he can be.
Watch out for that tree!

George, George, George of the Jungle,
Lives a life that′s free.
Watch out for that tree!

When he gets in a scrape,
When he makes his escape,
With the help of his friend,
An ape named Ape,
Then away he′ll schlep,
On his elephant Shep,
While Fella and Ursula stay in step, with

George, George, George of the Jungle,
Friend to you and me.
Watch out for that tree!
Watch out for that tree!
George, George, George of the Jungle,
Friend to you and me.

@ Weird Al Yankovic

Текст песни:

[12th Street Rag/Euday L. Bowman]
You′re takin′ to me good,
Just like you know you should.
You get me on my knees,
Please, baby, please.

[State of Shock/The Jacksons,Mick Jagger]
She looks so great, everytime I see her face.
She put me in a state (ooh, state of shock)

[Sharp Dressed Man/ZZ Top]
Top coat. Top hat.
I don′t worry, ′cause my wallet′s fat.
Black shades. White glove.
Lookin′ sharp. Lookin′ for love.
They come a-runnin′ just as fast as they can,
′Cause every girl′s crazy ′bout a sharp-dressed man, hey!

Whoo! Ah ha!

[What′s Love Got To Do With It?/Tina Turner]
Oh, what′s love, got to do, got to do with it?
What′s love but a second-hand emotion?
What′s love got to do, got to do with it?
Who needs a heart, when a heart can be broken?

[Method Of Modern Love/Hall & Oates]
M E T H O D O F L O V E,
It′s the method of modern love.

[Owner Of A Lonely Heart/Yes]
Owner of a lonely heart.
Owner of a lonely heart,
Much better than the
Owner of a broken heart.
Owner of a lonely heart.

[We′re Not Gonna Take It/Twisted Sister]
We′re not gonna take it. No!
We ain′t gonna take it.
We′re not gonna take it, any more.

[99 Luftbalons/Nena]
Neun und neunzig luftballons
Auf ihrem Weg zum Horizont.
Denkst du vielleicht Grad an mich.
Dann singe ich ein Lied fur dich.

[Footloose/Kenny Loggins]
Now I gotta cut loose. Footloose.
Kick off my Sunday shoes.
Please! Louise! Pull me off-a my knees.
Jack! Get back! Come on, before we crack!
Loose! You′re blues. Ev′ry body cut footloose!

[The Reflex/Duran Duran]
So why don′t you use it.
Try not to bruise it.
Find time, don′t lose it.

[Mental Health (Bang Your Head)/Quiet Riot]
Bang your head.
Metal health′ll drive ya mad.
Bang your head.
Metal health′ll drive ya mad.

[Relax/Frankie Goes To Hollywood]
Relax, don′t do it.
When you wanna go to it.
Relax, don′t do it.
When you wanna come.
Relax, don′t do it.
When you wanna sock it to it.
Relax, don′t do it.
When you wanna come.
When you wanna come.
When you want to come.

@ Weird Al Yankovic