Текст песни:

Here she come now, wants her alimony.
Bleedin′ me dry as a bony bony.
Work at three jobs just to stay in debt now.
Well first she took my nest egg, then she took the nest.
I said yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

′Cause she took my house...my car,
My shoes...and my toothbrush too.
Too bad...so sad.
A-she got...got the gift of grab.
I′m in debt, debt, debt, debt, debt, debt.

Lawyer′s callin′ me on the telephony.
Tryin′-a squeeze-a blood from a stony stony.
Ooh, I took her for better or for worse, yeah.
Then she took me for everything, yeah everything
She could get, get, get, get, get.

Well I′m out of cash...no dough.
I′m broke...it′s no joke.
The check′s in the mail...get off
My back...cut me some slack.
I said yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

(Ooh, I want my almo-mo-mony) Oh you do?
(Ooh, I want my almo-mo-mony) Is it due?
(Ooh, I want my almo-mo-mony) Or you′ll sue?
(Ooh, I want my almo-mo-mony)
Alimony, mony, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

@ Weird Al Yankovic

Текст песни:

Soy un perdidor
I′m a loser, baby
So why don′t you kill me?
Soy un perdidor
I′m a loser, baby
So why don′t you kill me?
Hey!

I am I am I am
I said I wanna get next to you
I said I′m gonna get close to you
You wouldn′t want me have to hurt you, too
Hurt you, too
I know what′s on my mind
I know you like what′s on my mind
I know it eats you up inside
I know you know, you know
Here I come I come I come I come
Here I come I come I come

All I wanna do is have some fun
I gotta feeling I′m not the only one
All I wanna do is have some fun
I gotta feeling I′m not the only one
All I wanna do is have some fun
Until the sun comes up over Santa Monica Boulevard

Help me--I broke apart my insides
Help me--I′ve got no soul to sell
Help me--The only thing that works for me
Help me get away from myself
I wanna [doink] you like an animal
I wanna feel you from the inside
I wanna [clong] you like an animal
My whole existence is flawed
You get me closer to God

Hey!
Hey!
Hey!

You bang bang bang bang bang
Blame blame blame
You bang bang bang bang bang
It′s not my thing so let it go

′Cause the love that you gave
That we made
Wasn′t able to make it
Enough for you to be open wide
No
And every time you speak her name
Does she know how you told me
You′d hold me until you died?
′Til you died
Well, you′re still alive
And I′m here to remind you
Of the mess you left when you went away
It′s not fair to deny me
Of the cross I bear that you gave to me
You-ou-ou-ou-ou oughta know

Hey!

Despite all my rage
I am still just a rat in a cage
Despite all my rage
I am still just a rat in a cage
And someone will say
What is lost can never be saved
Despite all my rage
I am still just a rat in a cage

I love all of you
Hurt by the cold
So hard and lonely, too
When you don′t know yourself

I don′t owe you anything!
I don′t owe you anything!
I don′t owe you anything!
I don′t owe you anything!

Black Hole Sun
Won′t you come
And wash away the rain?
Black Hole Sun
Won′t you come, won′t you come
Black Hole Sun
Black Hole Sun
Won′t you come
Black Hole Sun
Black Hole Sun
Won′t you come
Black Hole Sun
Black Hole Sun

Do you have the time
To listen to me whine
About nothing and everything all at once?
I am one those melodramatic fools
Neurotic to the bone
No doubt about it
Sometimes I give myself the creeps
Sometimes my mind plays tricks on me
It all keeps adding up
I think I′m cracking up
And am I just paranoid
Or am I just stoned?
Or am I just stoned-oh-oh-oh-oh-ned?

@ Weird Al Yankovic

Текст песни:

As I walk through the valley where I harvest my grain
I take a look at my wife and realize she′s very plain
But that′s just perfect for an Amish like me
You know I shun fancy things like electricity
At 4:30 in the morning I′m milkin′ cows
Jebediah feeds the chickens and Jacob plows... fool
And I′ve been milkin′ and plowin′ so long that
Even Ezekiel thinks that my mind is gone
I′m a man of the land, I′m into discipline
Got a Bible in my hand and a beard on my chin
But if I finish all of my chores and you finish thine
Then tonight we′re gonna party like it′s 1699
We been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish paradise
I′ve churned butter once or twice
Living in an Amish paradise
It′s hard work and sacrifice
Living in an Amish paradise
We sell quilts at a discount price
Living in an Amish paradise

A local boy kicked me in the butt last week
I just smiled at him and I turned the other cheek
I really don′t care, in fact I wish him well
′Cause I′ll be laughing my head off when he′s burning in Hell
But I ain′t never punched a tourist even if he deserved it
An Amish with a ′tude?
You know that′s unheard of
I never wear buttons but I got a cool hat
And my homies agree
I really look good in black... fool
If you come to visit, you′ll be bored to tears
We haven′t even paid the phone bill in 300 years
But we ain′t really quaint, so please don′t point and stare
We′re just technologically impaired

There′s no phone, no lights, no motorcar
Not a single luxury
Like Robinson Caruso
It′s as primitive as can be

We been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish Paradise
We′re just plain and simple guys
Living in an Amish Paradise
There′s no time for sin and vice
Living in an Amish Paradise
We don′t fight, we all play nice
Living in an Amish Paradise

Hitchin′ up the buggy, churnin′ lots of butter
Raised a barn on Monday, soon I′ll raise anutter
Think you′re really righteous?
Think you′re pure in heart?
Well, I know I′m a million time as humble as thou art
I′m the pious guy the little Amlettes wanna be like
On my knees day and night scorin′ points for the afterlife
So don′t be vain and don′t be whiny
Or else, my brother, I might have to get medieval on your heinie

We been spending most our lives
Living in an Amish Paradise
We′re all crazy Mennonites
Living in an Amish Paradise
There′s no cops or traffic lights
Living in an Amish Paradise
But you′d probably think it bites
Living in an Amish Paradise

Ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh
ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-ahh-yecch!

@ Weird Al Yankovic

Текст песни:

Ridin′ in a bus down the boulevard,
And the place was pretty packed.
Couldn′t find a seat, so I had to stand,
With the perverts in the back.
It was smellin′ like a locker room.
There was junk all over the floor.
We′re already packed in like sardines,
But we′re stoppin′ to pick up more.
Look out!

Another one rides the bus-ah.
Another one rides the bus-ah.
And another comes on,
And another comes on.
Another one rides the bus-ah.
Hey!
He′s gonna sit by you.
Another one rides the bus.

There′s a suitcase pokin′ me in the ribs.
There′s an elbow in my ear.
There′s a smelly old bum standin′ next to me.
Hasn′t showered in a year.
Well, I think I′m missin′ a contact lens.
I think my wallet′s gone.
And I think this bus is stoppin′ again,
To let a couple more freaks get on.
Look out!

Another one rides the bus-ah.
Another one rides the bus-ah.
And another comes on,
And another comes on.
Another one rides the bus-ah.
Hey!
He′s gonna sit by you.
Another one rides the bus.

Another one rides the bus.
Another one rides the bus--ow!
Another one rides the bus--hey, hey!
Another one rides the bus--hey-y-y-y!

The window doesn′t open, and the fan is broke,
And my face is turnin′ blue.
I haven′t been in a crowd like this
Since I went to see The Who.
Well, I should′a got off a couple miles ago,
But I couldn′t get to the door.
There isn′t any room for me to breathe.
Now we′re gonna pick up more, yeah!

Another one rides the bus-ah.
Another one rides the bus-ah.
And another comes on,
And another comes on.
Another one rides the bus-ah.
Hey!
He′s gonna sit by you.
Another one rides the bus.

@ Weird Al Yankovic

Текст песни:

Sometimes I feel
Like I need a vacation
Sometimes I feel
Like I wanna go
To the city of cavemen
The city of Bedrock
I′d be a Flintstone
Now I′ll tell you why....

Well I′ve got I′ve got a woman named Wilma
Well I′ve got I′ve got a baby named Pebbles
Well I′ve got I′ve got a doggy named Dino
We do a little bowling and we drink a little vino

Well I′ve got a little buddy, Barney Rubble
Got a neighbor by the name of Barney Rubble
He′s a midget but he makes a lot of trouble
Does′nt like to shave, he got caveman stubble

Me and Barney, Loyal Order Water Buffalo
Lodge brothers, Loyal Order Water Buffalo
There′s a handshake everybody gotta know
How come Grand Poo-Bah always gotta run the whole show?

Yabba dabba, Yabba dabba dabba do now
Yabba dabba, Yabba dabba dabba do now
Yabba dabba, Yabba dabba dabba do now
I get by on all my prehistoric knowhow

Betty and Barney got a baby named Bamm-Bamm
Little Pebbles is his number one fan
He′s the strongest toddler in the whole land
Tear your arm off if he shake-es your hand

Got a car, gonna push it with my feet now
Gonna take my family out to eat now
Jumbo ribs at the drive-in can′t be beat now
Made from brontosaurus baby, not moo-cow

Wanna chill with a sabre-toothed tiger
Wear a loincloth, natural fiber
Be the first Rolling Stone subscriber
Got a pterodactyl for a windshield wiper

Yabba dabba, Yabba dabba dabba do now
Yabba dabba, Yabba dabba dabba do now
Yabba dabba, Yabba dabba dabba do now
Don′t know what it means but I say it anyhow

Lucky me, workin′ down in the gravel pit
Movin′ rocks, on a big dinosaur I sit
Mr. Slate gets mad and he throws a fit
Pull the birdie′s tail, everybody knows its time to quit

Realize I′m livin′ in the Stone Age
No fax, no cellular phone-Age
Pick my teeth with a dinosaur bone-Age
Liftin′ heavy boulders every day for my wage

Barney Rubble, laugin′ like a hyena
Barney Rubble, what a little wiener
Where′s Wilma? Anybody seen her?
Got a baby elephant vacuum cleaner

Yabba dabba, Yabba dabba dabba do now
Yabba dabba, Yabba dabba dabba do now
Yabba dabba, Yabba dabba dabba do now
Yabba dabba, Yabba dabba dabba do now

@ Weird Al Yankovic

Текст песни:

Gonna buy me a condo.
Gonna buy me a Cuisinart.
Get de wall-to-wall carpeting.
Get de wallet full o′ credit cards.
I gonna buy me a condo.
Never have to mow the lawn.
Gonna get me the T-shirt
With the alligator on.

Wo-o-o, used to live in Jamaica,
But I don′t live dere no more.
Had to change me lifestyle,
Do t′ings I never done before.
So now I′m just a lonely Rastaman,
Living in dis American town.
Gonna sell me Bob Marley records,
Gonna get me some Jackson Browne.

Gonna buy me a condo.
Gonna buy me a Cuisinart.
Get de wall-to-wall carpeting.
Get de wallet full o′ credit cards.
I gonna buy me a condo.
Never have to mow the lawn.
Gonna get me the T-shirt
With the alligator on.

Wo, gonna cut off me dreadlocks,
T′row away all me ganja.
I′ll have a Tupperware party,
Maybe join me a health spa.
I′ll get a bowl of plastic fruit,
And a microwave oven too.
Then I′ll have the neighbors over
For a weenie barbecue.

Gonna buy me a condo.
Gonna buy me a Cuisinart.
Get de wall-to-wall carpeting.
Get de wallet full o′ credit cards.
I gonna buy me a condo.
Never have to mow the lawn.
Gonna get me the T-shirt
With the alligator on.

Ain′t gonna work in the field no more.
Gonna be Amway distributor.
Ain′t gonna work in the field no more, no, no.
Gonna be Amway distributor.
(Jah) Jah, jah, jah,
Life is so very hard,
I need a (jah) jah, jah, jah
Jacuzzi in my backyard.

Gonna buy me a condo.
Gonna buy me a Cuisinart.
Get de wall-to-wall carpeting.
Get de wallet full o′ credit cards.
I gonna buy me a condo.
Never have to mow the lawn.
Gonna get me the T-shirt
With the alligator on.

What you say?

Gonna buy me a condo.
Gonna buy me a Cuisinart.
Get de wall-to-wall carpeting.
Get de wallet full o′ credit cards.
I gonna buy me a condo.
Never have to mow the lawn.
Gonna get me the T-shirt
With the alligator on.

What you say?

Gonna buy me a condo.
Gonna buy me a Cuisinart.
Get de wall-to-wall carpeting.
Get de wallet full o′ credit cards.
I gonna buy me a condo.
Never have to mow the lawn.
Gonna get me the T-shirt
With the alligator on.

@ Weird Al Yankovic

Текст песни:

Don′t wanna be a Canadian idiot
Don′t wanna be some beer swillin′ hockey nut
And do I look like some frostbitten hose-head?
I never learned my alphabet from A to Zed

They all live on donuts and moose meat
And they leave the house without packin′ heat
Never even bring their guns to the mall
And you know what else is too funny?
Their stupid Monopoly money
Can′t take ′em seriously at all

Well maple syrup and snow′s what they export
They treat curling just like it′s a real sport
They think their silly accent is so cute
Can′t understand a thing they′re talkin′ aboot

Sure they got their national health care
Cheaper meds, low crime rates and clean air
Then again well they got Celine Dion
Eat their weight in Kraft macaroni
And dream of drivin′ a Zamboni
All over Saskatchewan

Don′t wanna be a Canadian idiot
Won′t figure out their temperature in Celsius
See the map, they′re hoverin′ right over us
Tell you the truth, it makes me kinda nervous

Always hear the same kind of story
Break their nose and they′ll just say "sorry"
Tell me what kind of freaks are that polite?
It′s gotta mean they′re all up to somethin′
So quick, before they see it comin′
Time for a pre-emptive strike!

@ Weird Al Yankovic

Текст песни:

Look, if you had, one shot
To sit on your lazy butt, and watch all the TV you ever wanted
Until your brain turned to mush, would you go for it
Or just let it slip
Yo

[Verse 1]
Remote is ready, eyes wide palms are sweaty
Theres Flintstones on the TV all ready, Wilma and Beatty
No virgin, I′m channel surfin and I′m HD ready
So I flip, garbage is all I′m getting
The Simon Cal, who folks wanna disembowel
He oppens his mouth, always say something fowl
Their dying wow, wannabes are crying now
He votes em out, time to throw in the towl
Shows based on reality, oh the humanity
Oh the these family shows, love profanity
Woh the insanity, oh dogs that crap and pee
Home of degravity, no they live happily
Yo, plust the Ali G show, and celebrity mo
Oh theres Anna Nicole, she scarin me
Look ma no cavites, oh its a station break
Better go out to the kitchen and micorwave something

[Chorus]
Your gonna lose your mind watchin TV
They told me, they scold me, but I still tune into every show (oh)
My cable gets CSPAN, TVLand, and HBO
The travel channel has gone furry and lifetime
Your gonna lose your mind watchin TV
They told me, controlled me, turn off those music videos (oh)
I′m gonna watch CSPAN TVLand and HBO
The History Channel, and QVC, and Lifetime
Your gonna...

[Verse 2]
My butt is aking, as I watch Nascar racing
That show about undertaking, Larry King
To 24 to, Law & Order
The Weather Channel′s boring like 60 Minutes
Ancient reporters, next up on E True Hollywood Story
The rise and decline of 12 actors named Cory
Shows for next fall, they already been namin
CSI: Boise, and Touched by an Uncle
Both sound pretty lamen, and so does everybody who tolerates Ramond
And King of Queens jumped the shark the first minute
I can′t believe Richard Simmons ain′t in it
I move right on to 8 Simple Rules for Dating my Teenage Daughter
Then I bet I watch the Bachelorette, followed by welcome back Cotter
And the Muppets show where they go and I′m not

[Chorus]
Your gonna lose your mind watchin TV
They told me, they scold me, but I still tune into every show (oh)
My cable gets CSPAN, TVLand, and HBO
The Disney channel and A&E and lifetime
Your gonna lose your mind watchin TV
They told me, controlled me, but I still love Lisa Cudrow (oh)
I′m lookin at CSPAN TVLand and HBO
The Playboy Channel, CourtTV, and Lifetime
Your gonna...

[Verse 3]
Never miss Melorose Place or Lost in Space
I′ve seen each Amazing Race, Without a Trace
But I only watched Will & Grace, one time, one day
Wish I Hadn′t, cause TiVo now thinks I′m gay
Oh, and Fear Factor, I watched maybe a halfhour
After that, felt like I needed a long Shower
Network Execs with naked ambition
Nextweek on fox watch lions eat Christians
Liked to tie up those programming planners
Make them watch all that junk until there heads explode just like scanners
Leech coverd, grub-eatin fools on Survivor
Look theres James Lipton discussin the ohbra of
Mr. Rob Schneider and those gilligan and Spongebob
Plus there MaGiver and Jay Leno has got Madonna
Haters Luke Perry and a special all piglatin episode of Drew Carey
Wanna turn on ET, cause I′m a gossip freak
And I gotta know who JLo is marring this week
A 30 second spot welcome back to Are You Hot
I was plannin on recording the Sopranos, I forgot
I love shows with or without a plot
I′ll stare until my legs are numb, my eyes blood shot
Because I only got, one brain to rot
I′m gonna spend my life watchin television a lot

[Chorus]
Your gonna lose your mind watchin TV
They told me, theyscold me, but I still tune into every show (oh)
My cable gets CSPAN, TVLand, and HBO
The Sifi channel and AMC and lifetime
Your gonna lose your mind watchin TV
They told me, controlled me, turn off that Oprah Winfrey show (oh)
I got it on CSPAN TVLand and HBO
The Learing Channel and MTV, and Lifetime
Your gonna...

You can watch anything you want to man

@ Weird Al Yankovic

Текст песни:

How come you′re always such a fussy young man
Don′t want no Cap′n Crunch, don′t want no Raisin Bran
Well don′t you know that other kids are starvin′ in Japan
So eat it, just eat it

Don′t want to argue, I don′t want to debate
Don′t want to hear about what kinds of foods you hate
You won′t get no dessert ′till you clean off you′re plate
So eat it

Don′t you tell me you′re full
Just eat it... eat it
Get yourself an egg and beat it

Have some more chicken
Have some more pie
It doesn′t matter
If it′s boiled or fried

Just eat it, just eat it
Just eat it, just eat it... Woo!

Your table manners are a crying shame
You′re playing with your food, this ain′t some kind of game
Now, if you starve to death
You′ll just have yourself to blame
So eat it. Just eat it.

You better listen, better do as you′re told
You haven′t even touched your tuna casserole
You better chow down, or it′s gonna get cold
So eat it.

I don′t care if you′re full
Just eat it... eat it
Open up your mouth and feed it

Have some more yogurt
Have some more Spam
It doesn′t matter if it′s fresh or canned
Just eat it! Eat it! Eat it! Eat it!
Don′t you make me repeat it!

Have a banana, have a whole bunch
It doesn′t matter what you had for lunch

Just eat it! Eat it!
Eat it! Eat it!
Eat it! Eat it!
If it′s too cold, reheat it

Have a big dinner. Have a light snack
If you don′t like it, you can′t send it back

Just eat it! Eat it!
Get yourself an egg and beat it!

Have some more chicken. Have some more pie
It doesn′t matter if it′s boiled or fried

Just eat it! Eat it!
Don′t you make me repeat it!

@ Weird Al Yankovic